When life/God is unfair

Have you ever felt as if you have done everything according to the book and yet things do not work out as expected?  I have and am currently in that situation.

On one hand, it is very difficult to accept that all your efforts have been in vain while things go well for those that did not care about doing anything right.  I have been a practising Christian for more than half my life and one particular issue seems to have eluded me more than any other.  I lived my life according to the Bible in that area but things have not worked well at all.  It has been very painful and I have felt really disappointed with God for not coming through for me and myself for trusting Him instead of doing things my own way.  A Christian friend, Michelle, was not as God fearing in this area (her stories have revealed quite a lot) and yet things worked well for her.  Did I think that this was fair?  Of course not!!

On the other hand, there is one particular area in which I have not done much about improving myself but for some reason,  I have prospered in it.  Michelle has worked very hard in this area and yet things have not worked for her.  Interestingly, I rarely think that it is unfair for me to get blessed when I have not done anything much to deserve a good thing.  Is this being selfish or ungrateful.

The one way I have come to cope with the disappointment in this one aspect of my life is to take a bird’s eye view of my life.  I count the blessings I have had and they certainly outnumber the disappointments.  Life may not be fair, but I have had a fair share of good fortune.  God may seem as if He has forsaken me in one area, but I have been blessed beyond measure in more spheres of my life.

I will continue to be grateful for the blessings/good fortune (whatever you call it) I have had in spite of some disappointments.  What is the use of being bitter when I can instead be grateful for the blessings I have?  I am not saying that it is easy to be grateful through dark times, but what else is there to hold on to?  I have chosen to live a life of gratitude even though it is difficult at times.  The results are much better than leading a bitter life.

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17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Eltywah
    May 09, 2015 @ 07:05:24

    @Bill-The word ‘blessed’ is rich and complex. One definition of it means ‘ to be marked in blood.’ If you look at the French word ‘blesse’ it means to be injured or wounded.

    Being ‘blessed’ means being marked in the blood of a sacrificial lamb (Jesus) that was put to death for our benefit.

    Bill is so right when he observes the power of the word ‘blessed’ has been watered down to something trite and baseless.

    But what if we reclaimed it? What if the next time we heard or said the word we also said it’s true meaning: “I’m marked in blood and somebody died so I can live.”

    It gives the word a whole new spin doesn’t it?

    Reply

  2. Nomzi Kumalo
    May 08, 2015 @ 10:17:35

    I hear you. It is far easier to practice and live in gratitude. Have a lovely peaceful weekend. 🙂

    Reply

  3. Bill
    May 07, 2015 @ 14:04:04

    Yes, I’ve struggled with the ages-old questions of why it seems that only some prayers are answered, why bad things happen to good people, how to reconcile the existence of evil with an omnipotent all-benevolent God, etc.

    Like you I try to focus on the overall goodness of the world and the daily joys and happiness. One thing that I’ve done (and it’s been helpful to me) is to stop using the word “blessed,” as in “I’ve been blessed with (fill in the blank).” So for example if I say “I’m blessed with good health,” meaning that there is divine favor on my life and God has chosen to make me healthy, how does that sound to the parents of a little girl dying of cancer? I’m “blessed” and she isn’t? So I prefer to just say I’m thankful or fortunate, rather than blessed. Of course that doesn’t mean I’m saying no one should use that word or think in those terms. I’m just saying it’s been helpful to me to stop thinking that way.

    Thanks for the thought-provoking post.

    Reply

    • Zambian Lady
      May 07, 2015 @ 15:15:13

      You are right. It can be difficult to say one is blessed when someone else is going through a rough time in that area, especially if it affects a small innocent child. That is why I mentioned that one may call it blessings/good fortune, etc – the situation will dictate. I believe the important thing is to be thankful and sensitive to others.

      Reply

  4. anotherday2paradise
    May 05, 2015 @ 19:04:04

    We all have problems, however perfect our lives may appear to others. As Jill says, counting our blessings and feeling gratitude, helps us overcome those difficulties. 🙂

    Reply

  5. Grannymar
    May 05, 2015 @ 17:40:27

    We all have disappointments along the road of life, sitting at home dwelling on them, only allows them to grow and fester in our minds and hearts. I find that by going out and meeting people, I learn of others who have major problems that make mine look minor! It is in sharing, that we discover we are not the only person to have gone through a particular problem. Hoping your days and life improve real soon.

    Reply

    • Zambian Lady
      May 07, 2015 @ 15:20:02

      I agree with you that being others helps. I had a serious problem a while back while living in the States and my mother came over for a couple of months to keep me company. She rarely mentioned the problem but her presence was such a help I could not believe how therapeutic it was.

      Reply

  6. Eltywah
    May 05, 2015 @ 15:18:35

    Zambian Lady, thank you for sharing! Being alive, no matter how fabulous our lives may seem to somebody else, will mean feeling disappointment at some moment in our existance. Yet you hit the bullseye when you said instead of feeling bitter when faced with disappointment, you continue to be grateful. Gratitude and putting things in the right perspective is often the anecdote to the diseases that ail the heart.

    I wonder what our lives would be like if we got everything we wanted? Perhaps not getting something at the time we want it may be character building or a blessing we may not be able to even comprehend at this time in our lives but God, who adores you, certainly does!

    Reply

    • Zambian Lady
      May 07, 2015 @ 15:22:38

      Getting everything you want on demand would be fantastic, but we would be spoilt people. It is not easy though not to get something you really need, but we will be thankful for that which we have.

      Reply

  7. mukhamani
    May 05, 2015 @ 14:44:31

    Yes, we all have problems in life, and how we face them depends on us. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

    • Zambian Lady
      May 07, 2015 @ 15:24:31

      The way we respond to a problem either exacerbates the bad situation or makes it easier for us to deal with it. From experience, not being bitter about the issue would be a better way.

      Reply

  8. Jill Weatherholt
    May 05, 2015 @ 11:22:04

    Focusing on the tiniest blessings can get us through those difficult times. Keep the faith!

    Reply

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