Feeling “Over the hill”? Not any more!!

A friend, Suzie, and I were talking about life in general three years ago.  She said all that was left for her (and by extension me, since we are about the same age) was retirement and then death.  She also said that we should have already done what we needed to do by our age.  Unfortunately, Suzie got me at a weak moment.  I agreed with her and felt very low and as if I was a failure.  I told myself that:

a) I could have gone further with my education

b) I could have had a better career

c) I could not have cared less about what people said and done what I wanted as long as I did not hurt others (God, how I could have cared less!)

d) I could have spent less resources helping others.  I thought I had helped too many people too much.

Of course these thoughts made me feel as if I had wasted my life.  It took me a couple of days to realize that I was not doing myself a favour.   I usually dwell on positive things in my life when I am feeling low and that is what I did at this time.  Yes, I may not have done as well professionally as I could have, but I have not done too badly either.  I could have saved some more money by not being ‘over’ helpful.   There are other things I did very well and got a lot of satisfaction from, like paving the way for prisoners to be receiving free ARV drugs.  I told myself to count my successes and blessings one by one and I would be amazed at what I had achieved and been blessed with.

I felt much better after looking at my life from a non-judgemental and non-dejected point of view.  I did not feel ancient or as a failure any longer.

I am amazed that I could have thought that I was ‘over the hill’, the term Suzie used.  I have done a lot of things since then and travelled to several more countries.  Life has been good to me and my family, knock on wood.  I have become adventurous and have some interesting adventures lined up.

How could I have possibly thought that the only things left for me were retirement and death?!!!





2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Otto von Münchow
    Sep 04, 2018 @ 10:36:15

    Until death takes us, there are no ends to what we can do. So keep up the positive thoughts. Like I will. 🙂


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